So...lets talk

I am not a complicated girl. And when things get complicated I get bitchy.
Knowing that, how do you think my conversation with Comcast went? Bout as well as a rabbit trying to explain vegetarianism to a fox.
My husband and I discussed getting rid of most of our services with Comcast, because they suck, and just sticking with Internet. So I called them several weeks ago to find out when our promotion was ending. The woman on the phone told me April 23. I said great and hung up.
Now I am not a stupid girl either. I have been dealing with Comcast for years.The truth is as elusive to them as the Giant Squid is to biologists. I promptly redialed the number and hit all their stupid buttons and got to another young girl and asked the same question and low and behold she gave me the same answer.
Weird right?
Getting the same answer out of two people! I was floored and gave myself a good old pat on the back for good work. Same answer twice, no need to call back. The stars aligned, the wolves were calling to the moon, time to buy a lottery ticket. So I put it in my phone to call April 22 to cancel the services we would no longer require.
Monday night my husband asks me why Comcast withdrew $210 out of our account. My jaw actually hit the ground. I had no idea. The little bastards lied to me. Both of them.
First thing Tuesday morning I called their customer service "Home of the Customer Service Guarantee." Yeah right, they can kiss my rosy white Irish ass.
The first guy I talked to listened to my story and looked through my account,  verified my information asked me a million questions that have nothing to do with the reason why I called then apologized about the mix up but our promotion ended MARCH 23!
I said no, no, no. I told him I called. I told him twice.
He apologized again and said that there was no record of me calling, once or twice and there was no record of me calling for six months.
Well how the hell did that happen? How is it that I called twice and neither of the little jerks accessed my information and BOTH of them giving me the same date?
I demanded as much from the guy and he apologized again (they think that makes it better. It doesn't.) and tells me that he has no idea. Jerk.
I ask him to credit our account since we were told that it was April 23, not the month before. You'll never guess what he did.
He apologized AGAIN! And told me no. I asked for a supervisor. He said sure, I think he wanted to get rid of me.
So I started all over again. I have the new guy my story, then the same million stupid questions that have nothing to do with anything and I a m no better off.
The only thing this guy knew how to do was repeat everything back to me that I already said and finished every sentence with 'there.' I am not kidding. I couldn't concentrate on anything he said. (Not like it mattered he was just saying what I had said.) In the end I stopped listening and started counting how many 'theres' he said. I stopped counting at 35. No joke.
This guy also refused to help me. Probably because it was outside of his vocabulary. He refused to credit my account, he refused to offer any help. But the 'there's kept rolling in. Anyone higher on the food chain was going to call back in a few hours. Already bit that worm once and got dragged out of the river, not going to do that again.
Would I change Internet providers if there was someone, anyone else that provided out where I live? You bet your last dollar and the lint in your pocket I would. But alas we are stuck with them.
Will someone please provide Internet out here so that I can lose Comcast?
I hate calling them. I hate talking to them. I hate getting five different stories every time I call. I work in customer service. I could out customer service them any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
Actually lets make a challenge.
I bet Comcast cant beat me!
Any takers?