I cant believe you just said that!

I have been in a little bit of a writing slump these last few weeks and I have been itching to write something, little did I know all I need to do was call my mom. Poof. A short conversation was born for one of my side projects. Now the actual conversation I had with my mother included ‘other things’ that I really didn’t want in my book. As inappropriate as I can be, (Shock? Shouldn’t be.) there are just somethings that I am NOT going to talk about on my blog, or in my books.
Crap, I am showing restraint…I’m not going soft I swear! No really!
Don’t look at me like that. Pot calling the kettle black. Yeah that’s right, you know who you are.
Anyway the following is something that I will most likely include in my book about a girl named Willa Cross.
　
Today sucked. Bottom line.
Whenever I am scraping the bottom of the sucky barrel and need a little perspective on life I call my mom. She never fails to disappoint.
“Hey, mom.” I sighed into the phone when she picked up. Big surprise, she’s distracted.
“Oh, hi honey.” At least she’s happy to hear from me. “Remember don’t wear your panties tomorrow.”
“What!” I cried. I actually let the phone fall to my side and I blushed with my eyes squeezed shut. I took a deep breath and put the phone back to my ear. “Why wouldn’t I wear panties tomorrow?”
“What?” She turns her attention back to me.
“You just told me not to wear panties tomorrow.” I said.
“Oh, honey.” She sighed as if I should know better. “I was talking to yours sister.”
“What!” I cried again. My younger sister is so innocent angels look to her for inspiration.
“We’re trying on dresses.” Mom told me cheerily.
“And why are we not wearing panties?” I pinched my nose. I’m getting a headache. Suddenly my problems don’t seem so bad and I would rather wallow in my misery than learn why my virgin sister isn’t wearing panties tomorrow. But I’m an idiot and I asked anyway.
“Why not?” She asked.
“You know what, never mind.” My eyes hurt from rolling so much in such a short period of time. “I gotta go.”
“Okay.” Mom is missing my thoroughly annoyed tone. “No, no, no. If your going to do that wear that red one, the one that looks like the devil.”
“Huh?” I am so lost in this conversation.
“What? Oh, you didn’t hang up? I was saying if she has to wear underwear she should wear the red thong-”
I hung up. Slumping down on my couch, I realize yet again, my life isn’t as bad as I thought.