Hair pulling and James Patterson

I want to pull my hair out. And not fist fulls of hair. Just one strand at a time to prolong the frustration.

What a frustrating process. I am beginning to wonder why I started writing in the first place. Grrr. Nothing is magically flowing from my fingers to create anything, well...magical. Grrr.

And by the way while I am ranting. I hate James Patterson. What the hell? Has anyone noticed how many books a month that man puts out? Seriously. Every time I open Amazon peruse new kindle books there he is right on the front page NEW JAMES PATTERSON NOVEL.

Does he have an army of minions caged in his basement being forced as slaves to write for him? How does he do it? Really, I want to know. In the time I have been writing alone he has published FIFTY NINE books.

Yeah you read me right. FIFTY NINE BOOKS since December 2009. Son of a bitch!

How??? I don't understand. I cant get one out. It makes me want to cry. I wonder if he leases his minions? But that probably costs a very shiny penny. All of my pennies are kind of ugly and have stuff stuck to them.

Don't get me wrong now, I am thrilled with how my book is starting. And that's the problem. The beginning is great. But it's a new tone and that leads to different plot developments. So while I have a beginning that I am excited about I don't know where to take it...and thus the one strand at a time hair pulling.

I hate plot development. It sucks.

I believe that there are two kinds of books out there. (If you wonder if I make this shit up as I go...I do.)

There are what I call 'surface books' and 'involvement books.'

Surface books are books that if you don't look too closely or spend time analyzing them they are a pretty good story. But once you look beyond the surface (get it?) the story is week and unsupported.

Involvement books are stories that no matter how involved you get, the story stands up strong and you can look as deep as you want and nothing falls apart. Think Harry Potter or Game of Thrones.

Sadly I am currently in the former instead of the latter. So my little brain continues to mull until the answer comes. So if your talking to me and I look like I am not paying attention. I'm not. I'm thinking about more interesting things.

Back on the rant. I like George R. R. Martin so much better than James Patterson. The last book George published was five years ago. That is a much more realistic timeline than the Evil James Patterson. And the worse part about the all mighty Mister Patterson is he doesn't publish crap.

However there is a twinge of bitterness with George. I happen to be enjoying Game of Thrones and I wish he was more like Mr. Patterson and published the last two books by the end of September. Hear me George? I don't like waiting. Patience was never my favorite virtue.

Okay. Deep breath... 

Maybe some day I will write something about kittens, and flowers. But not today. Today its bitter and angry. Today it's Evil James Patterson. Maybe tomorrow...But I wouldn't bet on it.